Things I Should Do Everyday (But Don't)
A living list of practices that remind me to embody my best self.
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash
Tell my wife I love her. I want her. I’m afraid of losing her (and trying to accept that all things are impermanent.) I want her to be happy and fulfilled. I truly appreciate everything she does for me, especially the stuff that I’m not even aware of. I want her to feel free to evolve into whoever she needs to become. She has my endless support and blessings. And even when we are apart, to know that she’s in my mind and heart.
To tell that to all my friends and family.
To tell that to myself.
Say what I actually mean and express how I truly feel — stop hiding, sugar-coating, or hedging—express my truth kindly.
Ask for what I want but don’t demand it. (Thanks Ken Keyes)
Count my blessings and stop taking things or people for granted. Say thank you every time I take a hot shower. Say thank you every time I use google maps to find my way. Say thank you every time I’m the recipient of someone else’s labor. Say thank you for the many modern marvels and invisible hands that make my life magical and comfortable.
Make time for the sacred. Watch the sunrise/sunset and say a little prayer. Nature evokes endless awe and gratitude. Our cosmic journey desrves recognition.
Say grace before each meal and acknowledge the web of life that nourishes us. Thank the plants, animals, and people who have kept us alive and well-fed.
Pay attention while eating. Stop multitasking or eating in a distracted state. Look, smell, chew, and savor the food.
Look people in the eye and meet them where they are (rather than stay in my own little world perceiving them through my biased conceptual mind). — Practice empathy and make people feel seen.
Say hello to strangers. (Hey, New Englander’s it’s ok to be friendly and talk to someone you don’t know on the street.)
Forgive myself for failing to meet my endless and unreasonable expectations.
When I notice I’m living in a prefabricated mental model of my day, reconnect with my body and breath and embrace reality — Am I seeing an idea of you or you?
Look at myself in the mirror and say out loud that I’m proud of who I am, what I’m doing, and the person I’ve become.
Celebrate the success and joys of others — embody mudita.
Listen. Listen again. Listen deeper. Listen some more. Listen without ever needing to respond. Listen to what is not being said. Listen for the faint signal under the noise. Listen as an act of generosity.
Grieve the many moments that have gone by without recognition. Grieve the people who were not given more chances to share their gifts with the world. Grieve the sad moments that are asking me to feel things I don’t necessarily want to feel. Grieve the happy moments that I don’t want to end. Grieve the letting go of who I think I should be in order to make space for who I need to become.
Laugh at myself — stop taking everything so seriously.
Practice “Strategic Worrying:” once I recognize I’m worrying about something, set a timer for 1min and give that worry all my attention and energy. Once 60 seconds is up, I will say the following, “Thank you worry. I understand where you are coming from. I feel you. Trust me, together we’ve got it from here.”
Spend time on the ground. Roll. Stretch. See the world from a different perspective. Don’t be afraid to play in the grass, sand, or dirt. Allow my inner-ape to relish in the joys of moving around on Mother Earth.
Center to de-center. Practice knowing what is true for me so I can make space for other truths to co-exist. This includes ideas and people.
Stoping making myself wrong. Stop making others wrong. There’s a reason for even the silliest and stupidest behaviors. Find it. Love it. Question it. And ask if it’s possible to do it another way next time. Follow that lead.
(To be continued…?)